Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
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She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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