I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize