I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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