We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
