wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
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Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
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DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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