I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I had to cum in my sink.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
