that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
