I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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