we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
