So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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