Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize