if i can run in heels then i can drive
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
