I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
