i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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