my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
