When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
