u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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