dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize