so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
