i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I fill condoms, not promises.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
