I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize