I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
