Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize