I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
