Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
