my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
