i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
