dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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