so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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