yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize