well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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