He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
