walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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