If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
