literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize