His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My life is pants optional.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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