Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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