Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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