i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
