I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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