The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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