He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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