So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
