we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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