This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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