R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Randomize
