no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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