The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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