please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
