I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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