the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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