I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
