i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
