The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
