Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
