i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
