No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is Oprah even human
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
