I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
