Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): They should make Glad Forceflex condoms. http://tfl.nu/qnot
  Replies (12) Good night (5938) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven. http://tfl.nu/24p0
  Replies (42) Good night (10182) Bad night (1576)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it. http://tfl.nu/r7km
  Replies (12) Good night (6068) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box. http://tfl.nu/wxom
  Replies (7) Good night (3069) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her. http://tfl.nu/vneo
  Replies (3) Good night (914) Bad night (3069)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome. http://tfl.nu/6uzt
  Replies (18) Good night (3905) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that. http://tfl.nu/tpz4
  Replies (21) Good night (2838) Bad night (3637)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed. http://tfl.nu/6hpj
  Replies (1) Good night (850) Bad night (2568)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling. http://tfl.nu/bvbt
  Replies (6) Good night (2208) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/s4gv
  Replies (7) Good night (1408) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina http://tfl.nu/j6ze
  Replies (12) Good night (2396) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok? http://tfl.nu/erl3
  Replies (3) Good night (1574) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us. http://tfl.nu/w3kf
  Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it. http://tfl.nu/ligk
  Replies (2) Good night (687) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): 40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth http://tfl.nu/05ws
  Replies (2) Good night (224) Bad night (597)

Randomize