Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess

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(248): absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess http://tfl.nu/and5

Replies (4) Good night (1597) Bad night (544)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.

(419): View more from Ohio

I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.

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(513): I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth. (419): I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat. http://tfl.nu/rzvc

Replies (10) Good night (3034) Bad night (685)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

what day is it and did you see me today?

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(225): what day is it and did you see me today? http://tfl.nu/sgc7

Replies (7) Good night (6305) Bad night (931)
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(845): View more from New York

This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.

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(845): This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin. http://tfl.nu/f5uz

Replies (45) Good night (934) Bad night (8202)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?

(518): View more from New York

No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.

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(313): Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween? (518): No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate. http://tfl.nu/4msk

Replies (21) Good night (5268) Bad night (932)
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(845): View more from New York

You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.

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(845): You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you. http://tfl.nu/t7go

Replies (21) Good night (4843) Bad night (1258)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

And to think..we used to do everything sober...

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(724): And to think..we used to do everything sober... http://tfl.nu/tbey

Replies (7) Good night (4924) Bad night (1045)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.

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(636): I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college. http://tfl.nu/p6pv

Replies (5) Good night (1808) Bad night (918)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.

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(843): Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex. http://tfl.nu/rb17

Replies (11) Good night (604) Bad night (1918)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."

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(270): It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.." http://tfl.nu/em6p

Replies (5) Good night (4771) Bad night (818)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.

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(814): Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME. http://tfl.nu/nij2

Replies (6) Good night (1171) Bad night (480)
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(231): View more from Michigan

Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?

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(231): Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest? http://tfl.nu/bt3a

Replies (0) Good night (459) Bad night (370)
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(613): View more from Ontario

How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?

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(613): How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"? http://tfl.nu/g21k

Replies (4) Good night (946) Bad night (374)
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(214): View more from Texas

His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"

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(214): His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP" http://tfl.nu/swif

Replies (3) Good night (604) Bad night (303)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.

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(702): Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs. http://tfl.nu/8zsp

Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (414)

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