Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.

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  (708): Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick. http://tfl.nu/pzxf
  Replies (21) Good night (1219) Bad night (2779)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick

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  (478): i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick http://tfl.nu/86s0
  Replies (14) Good night (621) Bad night (2623)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?

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  (702): we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast. (1-702): do you want me to pick up budweiser instead? http://tfl.nu/46t6
  Replies (24) Good night (5415) Bad night (697)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome

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  (952): So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome http://tfl.nu/t5m3
  Replies (12) Good night (6486) Bad night (1103)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka

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  (423): Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka http://tfl.nu/w8nb
  Replies (9) Good night (1221) Bad night (3816)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."

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  (919): Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform." http://tfl.nu/nw1x
  Replies (11) Good night (5440) Bad night (933)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.

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  (618): So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate. http://tfl.nu/opcy
  Replies (9) Good night (1156) Bad night (3159)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.

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  (210): If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already. http://tfl.nu/pwun
  Replies (7) Good night (2583) Bad night (999)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears

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  (416): I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears http://tfl.nu/wgjj
  Replies (15) Good night (856) Bad night (1634)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages

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  (901): its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages http://tfl.nu/zo01
  Replies (9) Good night (737) Bad night (1249)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I feel strange, like something is off with my body

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days

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  (604): I feel strange, like something is off with my body (1-604): Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days http://tfl.nu/yx6p
  Replies (3) Good night (1654) Bad night (540)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shit is preposterous

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  (610): I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans (610): Shit is preposterous http://tfl.nu/iova
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (381)
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  (415): View more from California

  Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles

  (907): View more from Alaska

  How do you keep ending up in these situations?

  (415): View more from California

  My dad is their accountant

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  (415): Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles (907): How do you keep ending up in these situations? (415): My dad is their accountant http://tfl.nu/1r4v
  Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (292)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed

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  (402): woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed http://tfl.nu/vpuo
  Replies (0) Good night (404) Bad night (251)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  …If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car

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  (757): I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car. (1-757): …If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car http://tfl.nu/ri5o
  Replies (3) Good night (423) Bad night (701)

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