i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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